"Do Your Damn Research, Please!"
The original Coaster Radio Character. He is every uber-obessed coaster enthusiast you've ever met. He's based on a real-life guy who didn't think much of our show when it started in 2005.
"I Should Not Have Said That!"
Hagrid might be the most beloved character on our roster. He lives in the backstage areas of Universal Orlando and either reports from Orlando or "apparates" into the studio.
"I Will REPLICATE The Experience For You!"
Tibor is a Dutch Performing Artist who, along with his large sister Tatsiana, replicates theme park experiences in his immersive theater. He has been known to bring defunct attractions back to life, normally with pain and suffering for his audience.
"I want to knock the boots!"
The audience is decidedly split on this character. C-Pain mysteriously appears when there is a park-related story featuring an attractive woman. He creates an auto-tuned song fueled by rhymes about his desire to "knock boots."
"Our new attraction, Bench the ride!"
This character (not based on any real-life counterpart) ran a successful theme park chain for a number of years. He now consults for various parks and comes up with new ways to charge you. He also doesn't like Mike.
Bob the Lobster
"...from the bottom of the sea!"
Bob ran the Red Lobster restaurant twitter feed, until EB got him fired. Now, Bob checks in from various oceans around the world. He even hosted our "Rockin' New Years Eve" show!
"Step Aside Peasants!"
The Prince avoids standing in lines at all costs. You'll find him using Fast Pass, Fastlane, Quick Queue or any other means necessary to bypass the lowly cretins. He leads the "royal entourage" at listener meet-ups.
Jenny & Ariana
"Seriously? That's on fleek!"
These two girls were in line for "The Comet" at Hersheypark and thought Mike cut in front of them. When he got on the ride they looked at him and disgustedly asked, "Are you serious?"
""No respect from the coaster community, I tell ya."
If Rodney Dangerfield did jokes about theme parks, you'd have "Lightning Rodney." This is the first "crowdsourced" character at the show. All of the jokes are written by listeners.
Fake Josh Radnor
"There's this coaster in Ohio..."
When EB and Mike were on the set of "How I Met Your Mother," they had a talk with the real Josh Radnor about a coaster he called "A Beast." Fake Josh likes to relive that moment.
Disney Podcast Guy
"This podcast is brought to you by..."
Disney Podcast Guy loves all things Disney. And he'll sell you all things Disney on his successful Disney podcast. Have a magical day!
Tower of Terrorist
"Ahhhhhh!!! PEPPER SPRAY!"
All this guy wants to do is ride the Tower of Terror at Disney California Adventure, but the guards keep dousing him with pepper spray! Poor guy. He's misunderstood. We sort-of feel sorry for him.